Sometimes I wish I could go back to my pre-mommy self and give me a good shake.
I wish I could go back to the times I thought not getting a full 8 hours of sleep and then working an 8-10 hour shift the next day was exhausting. Ha. Sure, at the time it was.. but I usually went straight home, kicked my feet up, poured a glass of wine and watched 3 episodes of Gossip Girl uninterrupted.
When I saw stay at home moms posting crafts for their kids and thought, "of course you can do that, you have all day long to make whatever you want, if only I had that much time on my hands". . . Not knowing they whipped those things together during nap times, after they had washed the dishes, changed the laundry, checked on baby, swept the floor, warmed up their lunch for the 2nd time, checked on baby and then finally started their project. Only to be interrupted by the monitor going off.. And then 5 minutes later yelling, "ah, no don't grab that!!" talking about the project they had just started. Then putting it away and hoping to get that finished next nap time since this one only lasted 45 minutes. And oh yeah, lunch is still in the microwave! Or, if they aren't too tired, those moms actually stayed up until the wee hours putting the finishing touches on that crochet hat, hoping their child will actually leave it on long enough to take a proud picture in it the next day.
Oh, this one is really good..When my pre-mommy self used to say, "my kids will never run around in just a diaper all day.." I would probably just laugh in her face. Tell her good luck when her 10 month old has learned to walk and wants to run away from you every single diaper change and you're lucky to even get his diaper on him. Because, that task alone is probably the most similar experience to wrestling an alligator you'll ever have. Maybe my pre-mommy self could come up with a straight jacket for toddlers that is CPS approved and will insure I never let my kid run around in a diaper all day. But then again, I didn't have that kind of time on my hands back then.
My pre-mommy self really was busy. It was nothing unusual for me to work a 50-60+ hour week when you counted my normal job and photography on the side. Many nights I ate dinner at the computer, stayed up all Friday and Saturday night to finish a wedding, and had to make myself take a break on Sunday evening to watch a football game with my husband so he didn't think I was neglecting him. I honestly said, "this is going to be so much easier when I'm staying home just being a mom." That was before I knew my baby wouldn't nap without me holding him most of the time. Or before I knew that he would want to stay up until 11:00 every night and I'd fall asleep putting him to sleep. Also before I realized that a baby tugging at your leg constantly does not make working on the computer easy. And when you pick him up, he will most likely try out some sort of karate moves on the keyboard. Since when does a 10 month old know karate? I'm pretty sure mine was born knowing..
All of us moms are guilty of these pre-mommy thoughts. We have no idea just what we're getting ourselves into. I didn't know that I would actually love my baby running around in just a diaper because I think he looks absolutely adorable with all his soft squishy baby chunk showing. I didn't realize that motherhood was a 24-7 job. Sure I knew it was a full time job, but I guess I didn't grasp the concept of not clocking out, not calling in sick, not saving up PTO so you can have a staycation to watch an entire season of Grey's Anatomy and catch up on the rest of your photos you've been putting off just because you were too busy.
I didn't realize it'd be the hardest, most exhausting, challenging job I'd ever have.
I had no idea "MOM" would be the greatest title I would ever hold. If I could go back and talk my pre-mommy self, I would tell her she hasn't lived life yet and the best is yet to come. That she would never have a more important job and she would know every day just how much she is needed. She will learn to function on much less than 8 hours of sleep. She will learn more about who she is through a tiny little person than she ever thought possible. I would tell her that when she becomes a mommy, hold onto every single second. Even the most frustrating and tiresome seconds. It's ok that I had those thoughts pre-baby; they give me something to laugh about now and realize just how much my life has changed.. and I would never go back, not for a second.
